ahhh....to sleep, perchance to dream

if you know me remotely well, then this post is no surprise. Sleep eludes me on a regular basis. I'm definitely one of those people who function on a very small portion of it. As a small child, I can remember laying awake for hours staring at the ceiling, listening to my sister partake of the aforementioned bliss. I go to bed faithfully at night, knowing it will take me hours to fall asleep regardless of how tired I am. So, the logic is, the sooner I lay down, the greater my chances of getting more sleep. I like the days I don't have to be anywhere early, because I might get an hour or more of this loveliness. However, I awake often throughout the night when I do fall asleep. For instance, last night, I watched the time tick away until 3ish, woke up about every hour on the hour, check the time, groan, and roll over hoping to fall asleep soon. It isn't always this rough, but it's the general feel. I ask myself why. I can't remember a time I wasn't like this.
I'm partial to the studies that show that people who need less sleep are more intelligent and their brains are super-active. I'm not fond of the ones that show that it's bad for your health, affects your work, emotions, etc.
So, why don't I do anything about it? Well, I've tried some of those over-the-counter things and they have the opposite effect. My heart races, I feel like I could run a marathon. I tried the natural remedies. No difference. I've tried the being careful what you eat, no caffeine, exercising like a fiend to get tired, etc. Nothing seems to change. It does not matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind goes crazy when I try to sleep. Of course, I've had some of my best ideas during these hours. I've anguished over huge portions of my life, I've written poetry, I've planned out numerous outcomes for the future....what else can I do? and, yes, it has affected my health; physically and mentally.

I'm so jealous of the people who can close their eyes and immediately fall asleep...anywhere. The people who can lay down and have a refreshing 20 minute nap in the afternoon. How do you do it, people?

the conclusion: my mind is freakish, it will not be quiet, guess I'll have to live with it. In Heaven, I plan to take a nice, long nap.